How sad to find Bill and Melinda Gates have decided to divorce after 27 years. They’ve raised three children, built up a vast fortune, intend to continue working together at their philanthropic foundation, but feel they can no longer ‘grow together as a couple in this next phase of our lives’.
I can’t say I’m completely surprised. Two years ago, I spoke to Melinda when she published her book The Moment Of Lift: How Empowering Women Changes The World. The first thing this chatty, articulate, immensely likeable woman blurted out was that she was a passionate, ardent feminist, but that was something she would not have said a few years ago.
Even then, there were hints that not all was as perfect in their marriage as we might have believed.
Jenni Murray explained why she wasn’t surprised when Bill and Melinda Gates (pictured) announced that they are getting divorced after 27 years
She described her husband as a strong personality, a ‘hard charging CEO’ and she had a ‘long climb to an equal relationship’.
When their first child was born, she had felt very lonely in the marriage. Bill was ‘beyond busy’ and she began to wonder if he wanted to have children in theory, but not in reality. She believed they were barely on the same page about what they wanted and they had little time to discuss it.
She felt it was important for women to be transparent about how hard it can be to become equal partners in society, the workplace and in our homes.
She had agreed, when their eldest child was born, to ease back from her work outside the home and care for her, but then realised she loved and missed her job.
Melinda wrote about deciding between her career and being a stay-at-home mom, in her book The Moment Of Lift: How Empowering Women Changes. Pictured: Bill and Melinda with their children
‘It took us time to work things out’, she wrote in her book. ‘I faced a life-forming question in those early years. Did I want a career or to be a stay-at-home Mom? My answer was first career, then stay-at-home Mom, then a mix of the two, then back to career.’
Bill complied with her demand that he should share the responsibility of driving the children to school and appears to have started quite a trend in the locality. Other women had said to their husbands, ‘If Bill Gates is driving his kids to school, why can’t you?’ Good point!
So why have they now decided to split? There is no hint of either of them having been unfaithful and Melinda was immensely proud of their shared values in giving away their great wealth.
Their foundation has become tremendously powerful across the world and they’ve worked hard to ensure their children are aware of the true value of money and how it can be used to alleviate poverty and suffering.
Jenni (pictured) suspects Bill and Melinda’s interests have diverged, with Bill maybe not so passionate about Melinda’s growing enthusiasm for the education of girls
The children, though, are now grown up. And unlike previous generations, couples no longer think of the empty nest years as a time for settling into comfortable retirement. At 57, one gets the impression Melinda feels there’s a lot more life to be lived.
My suspicion is that their interests have diverged. She had never really wanted to live in Bill’s palace which he began when still a bachelor.
He is maybe not so passionate about her growing enthusiasm for the education of girls and her determination to promote women’s financial empowerment, to see more women sitting at the table where decisions are made.
Whatever the reason, I wish them both all the best.
Just one odd thing; on the day I did that transatlantic interview the tech was terrible. Funny that the Gates household seemed to have the same problem on that front as the rest of us!
It breaks my heart to read about how soaring obesity rates have led to the number of under-18s with type 2 diabetes doubling in five years, with children as young as six being diagnosed. I know only too well that fat shaming is painful, but for a child who’ll be the ‘fattie’ in the class, it’s devastating. They’re teased constantly, no one picks them to be on their team in sports and their confidence is ruined. I remember being shocked when I spoke to a doctor carrying out metabolic surgery on teenagers. It involved removing a large part of the stomach to enforce dramatic weight loss. I’m grateful to him because it was he who set me on the path to a gastric sleeve operation and huge weight loss, but it’s shattering that experts say children should have this too. The food and advertising industries really do have an awful lot to answer for.
Does George still need to be the breadwinner?
What is it about the Bolton baking company, Warburtons, that draws Hollywood superstars such as Sylvester Stallone, Robert De Niro and now, for goodness sake, George Clooney, to advertise its products?
De Niro needed the cash to pay for his wife’s spending and maybe Stallone doesn’t get so many big parts these days, but Clooney? He’s rich, as is his wife. He’s in demand and can still make any woman go weak at the knees.
Jenni questions why George Clooney (pictured) is advertising Warburtons
Much is made of his gorgeousness in the ad to be released on his 60th birthday as Mr Warburton, who’s making toast, hears his secretary announce: ‘It’s George Clooney on the line.’ It puts a new spin on being the breadwinner.
The true cost of those Olympic Perfect 10s
I remember so clearly being blown away by Nadia Comaneci as she pulled off perfect 10s in gymnastics in the 1976 Olympics. She was exquisite. Now we learn she was, like so many other aspiring competitors, effectively tortured into becoming brilliant. Their trainers starved them, beat them and verbally abused them.
How curious that the information about the harshness of her coaches, Bela and his wife Marta Karolyi, came from newly declassified reports prepared by Romania’s equivalent of the Stasi — the feared Securitate which kept ghastly President Ceausescu informed about his precious star.
How many young girls have been damaged by being forced to win whatever the cost?
Missing LOD? Revisit a Scandi whodun-knit
Oh thank you, BBC, for bringing the Danish police procedural, The Killing, back to iPlayer. Another chance to be gripped by Detective Inspector Sarah Lund and her amazing sweaters.
It’s ten years since I became the number one fan of Sofie Grabol, who played her, and now I remember why I loved the series. I’m already more than halfway through, and reminded of how cleverly, and unusually, we were shown the terrible grief of the parents whose daughter had been murdered. It’s still brilliant. Don’t miss it a second time!