Ashley Cain has revealed ‘the pain of not being able to see my little girl is consuming my body’.
Taking to Instagram on Saturday, the grieving father – who lost his daughter Azaylia, eight months, to acute myeloid leukaemia in April – told fans: ‘It’s taking everything I have to begin each new day.’
Sharing a photo of a new pair of orange running trainers, Ashley, 30, admitted that although ‘things won’t get easier’ he is taking inspiration from Azaylia and forcing himself to ‘get up, get out’.
Tragic: Ashley Cain, 30, has revealed on Instagram that ‘the pain of not being able to see my little girl is consuming my body’
Posting two new snaps of his fluorescent orange shoes – a colour he’d picked due to it being Azaylia’s favourite – the former footballer explained: ‘For days I’ve wondered when I would have the strength to put them on and hit the road.’
He added: ‘The truth is, I don’t feel strong, I feel far from it. But in times of weakness, I have come to think… “What would Azaylia do?”
Ashley continued: ‘She would be strong, she would be courageous and she would get up, get out, and do what is needed to be done.’
Heartbreaking: The grieving father – who lost his daughter Azaylia, eight months, to acute myeloid leukaemia in April – told fans: ‘It’s taking everything I have to begin each new day’
Difficult: Sharing a photo of a new pair of orange running trainers, Ashley admitted although ‘things won’t get easier’ he is taking inspiration from Azaylia and forcing himself to ‘get up’
His heartbreaking message read in full: ‘Right now, it’s taking everything I have to begin each new day.
‘The pain of not being able to see my little girl is consuming my whole body. So this afternoon, I put on my new running trainers that I bought after Azaylia gained her angel wings.
‘I got them in orange to represent Azaylia and her battle, in the hope they would inspire me to get out and work through the pain.
He explained: ‘I got them in orange to represent Azaylia and her battle, in the hope they would inspire me to get out and work through the pain’
‘For days I’ve wondered when I would have the strength to put them on and hit the road. The truth is, I don’t feel strong, I feel far from it.
‘But in times of weakness, I have come to think… “What would Azaylia do?”
‘She would be strong, she would be courageous and she would get up, get out, and do what is needed to be done. She would push through every challenge with intent and without hesitation.
‘So that’s exactly what I’m going to do! I guess the pain will never fade and things will not get easier, but we will get stronger.’
Brave: Posting snaps of his orange shoes – a colour he’d picked due to it being Azaylia’s favourite – he said: ‘For days I’ve wondered when I would have the strength to put them on’
Hours earlier, Ashley’s girlfriend Safiyya Vorajee, 35, shared a clip of a red evening sky which she saw as a sign from her late daughter Azaylia.
Safiyya called Azaylia her ‘guardian angel’ following her passing last week aged eight months, after a brave battle with acute myeloid leukaemia.
Taking to Instagram on Saturday, Safiyya told how she recorded the clip from Love Island star Molly-Mae Hague’s Instagram of the sky after she was looking for signs from her daughter.
Heartwarming: Ashley’s girlfriend Safiyya Vorajee shared a clip of a red evening sky which she saw as a sign from her late daughter Azaylia
She wrote: ‘I keep looking up into the sky and looking for signs from Azaylia. So tonight I went to see her. As I left, I asked her what she was going to do special, for me in the sky tonight.
‘As I was driving I couldn’t capture this moment but it made me say out loud. Wow.’
‘I had to screen record this off @mollymae story and show you what I saw as she captured the moment so beautifully.’
Safiyya then shared the clip of the breathtaking sky and captioned it: ‘Having a moment’ along with an orange heart.
Moving: Safiyya, 35, called Azaylia her ‘guardian angel’ following her passing last week aged eight months, after a brave battle with acute myeloid leukaemia
She wrote: ‘I keep looking up into the sky and looking for signs from Azaylia. So tonight I went to see her. As I left, I asked her what she was going to do special, for me in the sky tonight’
She then wrote: ‘The purest love I have ever felt in my life is for you Azaylia.
‘The most incredible girl my hero, my baby, my inspiration. ADC. May God protect you, my guardian angel.’
It comes after Ashley shared his agony over Azaylia’s death in a heartbreaking Instagram post on Saturday.
The grieving father told how he was ‘broken and hurting’ following her passing last week.
Clip: Safiyya told how she recorded the clip from Love Island star Molly-Mae Hague’s Instagram of the sky after she was looking for signs from her daughter
In the message posted on his stories, the former Ex On The Beach star thanked fans for their support, while vowing to honour Azaylia’s name by continuing to help other children and families facing their own battles.
He penned: ‘I wanted to take this time to give thanks for all of your love, care and support for Azaylia throughout her battle and still now for us as a family.
‘I am broken and hurting more and more everyday right now.
‘But I made a promise to my daughter that I would keep her name alive by continuing to help other children, adults and their families during their own battles and I will honour that promise until I see her again.’
‘Likkle Lion’: grieving father Ashley told how he was ‘broken and hurting’ following her passing last week
Pain: In the message posted on his stories, the former Ex On The Beach star thanked fans for their support, while vowing to continue Azaylia’s name by continuing to help other children
Ashley’s emotional message follows on from another post from Safiyya in which she spoke about her heartache since their daughter Azaylia passed away last week.
Taking to Instagram on Saturday, Safiyya told her followers how often Azaylia, who was diagnosed at just two months, enters her thoughts.
Writing on her Instagram stories, Safiyya said of her daughter: ‘Your so beautiful I think about you all day and night [sic].’
Unforgettable: Safiyya told her followers how often Azaylia, who was diagnosed at just two months, enters her thoughts
Alongside the touching message, the grieving mother also shared an adorable picture of her baby.
Happy in a pink Mini Mouse baby bouncer, Azaylia smiled and waved at her doting mum in the photo.
The post comes after Safiyya revealed on Friday that she is struggling to get out of bed after her daughter’s untimely death.
‘Your so beautiful I think about you all day and night’: The grieving mother also shared an adorable picture of her baby smiling and waving
Taking to her Instagram stories, Safiyya wrote: ‘Trying to get myself out of bed in the morning has never felt so hard. The pain that hits me when my eyes open is unbearable, I just want this all to have been a dream. I miss you Azaylia.’
In another post, Safiyya uploaded her final photo cuddling her daughter and said: ‘1 week ago this was all happening…
‘You are so incredible Azaylia, you have changed my life. Honestly I feel so proud of you, I am lost without you but I know you’re with me close all the time.’
Devastating: The post comes after Safiyya revealed on Friday that she is struggling to get out of bed after her daughter’s untimely death
Azaylia battled acute myeloid leukaemia for the majority of her life and was diagnosed just two months after she was born.
Ashley confirmed the tragic news on social media last Sunday, writing: ‘Rest In Paradise Princess. I will always hold you in my heart until I can hold you again in heaven ❤️ #AzayliaDiamondCain.’
The couple recently raised more than £1.5million to fund a trip to Singapore for life-saving transplant, but their little one became too unwell and doctors discovered tumours throughout her body.
Following her death, fans continued to donate to the GoFundMe Page and have so far raised the total past £1.6million.
Stay strong: In another post, Safiyya uploaded her final photo cuddling her daughter and said: ‘1 week ago this was all happening. You are so incredible Azaylia, you have changed my life’
Azaylia – who inspired her father’s powerful ‘let’s go champ’ message – underwent four rounds of chemotherapy during her fight and was recently nominated for a Pride Of Britain Award by thousands of supporters around the world.
On Tuesday, Safiyya shared another heartfelt tribute to Azaylia and said ‘not seeing her beautiful smile hurts so deep inside’ in a heartbreakingly-honest message.
Beautician Safiyya and her ex-footballer partner Ashley had been updating fans on their baby girl’s health condition since she was diagnosed with the rare form of blood cancer at just two months old.
The nurse wrote: ‘Morning time not seeing your beautiful smile hurts so deep inside, Azaylia your beautiful so pure, I miss you so so much words fail to explain the heartache.
Tributes: The couple recently raised more than £1.5 million to fund a trip to Singapore for life-saving transplant and following her death, fans continued to donate
‘I am so proud of you, everyday I will carry you with me in my heart, I no your looking down on me, & all the lessons you’ve taught me I will keep that with me forever. Thankyou for everything baby girl x x x.’ (sic)
It comes after Ashley wrote a lengthy post thanking his baby girl for ‘saving his life and giving him purpose’.
Ashley shared an image of little Azaylia’s hand clasped in his with the tot wearing a personalised baby grow.
He wrote: ‘My heart is shattered. You gave my life purpose, my face a smile, filled my heart with love and my soul with pride.
‘I can’t put into words my sadness and pain, there aren’t words to describe it. I love you with every ounce of my body and I miss you so much already.
‘You made me a better man. You made me the person I’ve always wanted to be. You’ve taught me more in your 8 months than I’ve learned my whole life.
‘I don’t know why you’ve been taken away from me and my heart aches in your absence.
‘But I promise you that your name with live on. I will carry your name across every ocean, along every road, to the top of every mountain and across the whole globe.
Moving: Ashley, meanwhile, penned a lengthy post thanking his baby girl for ‘saving his life and giving him purpose’
‘Your name will live, your legacy will be remembered and I will seek peace in living as your vessel to continue inspiring, giving strength, spreading joy and saving lives in your name, with your spirit, as your father until we meet again.
‘You saved my life, you really did. With my second chance, I make a promise to you that I will make yours live on in our hearts, our thoughts and our prayers.
‘I am blessed, I am honoured and I am privileged to be your father. I would go through all of the pain again and again. Because what you gave me in those 8 months will live with me for eternity.
‘Oh, oobee doo. I wanna be like you. I wanna walk like you, Talk like you, too. Azaylia Diamond Cain. Rest In Peace Princess. 10.08.20 – 24.04.21.’
Tragic: The couple were utterly devoted to their daughter, who battled the rare and aggressive cancer with such courage she was nicknamed ‘Likkle lion’ (pictured earlier this year)