Christina Aguilera reveals she was ‘insecure’ when ‘super skinny’ at the start of her career

Christina Aguilera has been reflecting on her past since turning 40-years-old in December.

And the Genie In A Bottle singer shared to the May issue of Health magazine, which goes on sale April 17, that she used to worry so much about her figure that is caused her anxiety.  

‘Entering this business, I hated being super skinny,’ began the mother of two. ‘I have a hard time looking at the early pictures of myself because I remember feeling so insecure. I would never want to relive my 20s—you’re so in your own head and finding your confidence.’

When Christina turned 21-years-old, she ‘started filling out a little bit.’

The red carpet favorite said: ‘I was loving my new curves. I appreciated having a booty. I’ve always said that women are way more interesting to look at than men!’ 

She then shared: ‘As you age, you stop comparing yourself to other people and start appreciating your own body and owning it.’ 

And the crooner also noted that self confidence can come and go: ‘I think we all have our good days and our bad days in how we feel about ourselves.’

Aguilera has been topping the music charts and the voice of a generation for the past 20 years.

Now she is determined to live every moment for herself—and to stop worrying about what others think. 

‘You start asking yourself: Why am I holding back in certain areas of my life? Who am I really living my life for?’ she said of turning 40. ‘And with age, you figure out that life is too short to waste time thinking about what other people think about you.’

She added, ‘I’ve realized I am making memories for myself and that I shouldn’t worry about what other people think.’

The star looked stunning in beige and pale pink in a shoot from Coliena Rentmeester. 

And Aguilera also touched on accepting herself.

‘That is what beauty is really about. As much as I also love being a glam girl and playing dress-up for the camera, when it all comes off, that’s what’s ultimately most rewarding—being able to feel really good about who’s staring back at you in the mirror, because you’re owning all of it,’ shared the performer.

Her life has slowed down with the lockdown, giving her time for her beau Matthew Rutler and two kids Max and Summer.

And she said it has been a great time to be hunkered down.

‘I really got a moment to do little things, like be in my backyard, read books that had been on my to-read list, and go through my old diaries,’ said the chart topper.

She added: ‘I have this massive trunk of old diaries that I’ve liter- ally kept from the past 20 years of my life. I was able to catch up on them and do some self-reflecting. It really forced me to be silent and take a look at myself.

And in some regard, she wasn’t happy with a lot of things.

‘It’s scary to face those feelings that, under normal circumstances, you don’t have time to face because everyone is going, going, going. That grind is praised, but I think we’re all understanding that having moments to self-reflect and just breathe are crucial.’

She then noted that she has been working since she was seven years old.

‘When I’m not working, there’s a heavy amount of guilt that I feel. It’s been embedded in me since I was little—you’re shamed if you don’t want to keep up,’ she admitted.

‘As a child [entertainer], you’re all pitted against one another, and other children are all about that grind too. It’s a weird space to grow up in.’

When she was young her competition was Britney Spears. 

Aguilera also discussed the pain from her childhood: ‘I experienced a lot of trauma in my childhood—I’ve spoken very openly about it. But I think that was just part of my path. I’ve definitely had struggles in the past with depression and anxiety— it’s a constant battle to overcome a mind that is anxious, a mind that is always second-guessing.;

She then recounted a recent therapy session.

‘I was in a session last night, and I got into my head. Someone told me if I wasn’t feeling it, we could call it. I had been feeling like I wanted to end it, but all it took was someone being supportive for me to be like, “Wait a second, I’m not giving up on myself like that—let’s go, let’s get it!”‘

The diva also said she was ‘months away’ from anything being announced on her new album.

She is simultaneously working on her English record and the follow-up to her debut Spanish album, which she was said is about 20 years overdue.

‘I’m a perfectionist and want to give everything my best—especially because of the soul-searching I’ve done over the past year and the new perspective I have,’ she said.. 

‘I am reinspired and have reconnected with myself. I’ve fallen in love with music all over again, which is a really big thing to say, having spent my entire career in music.’