It’s interesting that Angelina Jolie, Hollywood actress and latest cover star of British Vogue, seems to think she has to apologise for ‘lacking in all the skills to be a traditional stay-at-home mother’.
Why would a woman feel she hadn’t been a good mother because she had imagined herself living an adventurous life, travelling the world, instead of simply being a homemaker? It’s the 21st century, for goodness’ sake.
During my last Woman’s Hour in October, one of my guests was the Labour MP and Mother of the House, Harriet Harman. We looked back on the years when we’d been part of the first generation to refuse to accept we had to be workers or mothers. We could and would do both. We hoped we had set an example for the next generations by showing them, not telling them, how to do it.
Angelina Jolie (pictured) spoke about ‘lacking in all the skills to be a traditional stay-at-home mother’ in British Vogue
It was far from easy in the early years of the women’s movement. When I became pregnant in 1982, I was a presenter of BBC South’s news programme, South Today. As the pregnancy became obvious, I received numerous letters telling me how disgusting it was to display a burgeoning bump to viewers who ‘didn’t want to see it’.
Others would say it was outrageous that I should be taking a job from a man and ought to go home and become a ‘proper wife and mother’. Things were easier four years later when I became pregnant while presenting the Today programme and we moved to London. The great advantage of radio is no one could see me to comment on the second bump.
The only time I went through the agony of being separated from my family was when we moved to the Peak District for the boys’ education and I had to commute to London. It was tough to leave, but no one questioned the case of the working mother who had to travel for her job. After all, it’s what men had had to do for a long time.
Jenni Murray (pictured) argues Angelina has done some very important work and doesn’t need to worry about neglecting her kids
I stuck with it because my career was what I’d worked for and it was what I loved. I was useless at domestic tasks which, on the whole, bored the pants off me. I wasn’t knowledgeable about raising children, but employed a trained nanny who was. I set out to become the best mother I could be, creating a loving home, supporting their education and teaching them that a woman’s contribution to the workplace was every bit as important as that of a man. I feel no guilt, have no regrets and, it seems, nearly 40 years on, that it worked out pretty well. I couldn’t be more proud of my splendid grown-up sons.
British Vogue’s interview with Angelina Jolie is in the March issue, available via digital download and newsstands on Friday, February 5
Angelina Jolie has done some very important work, too. The profile she and the former foreign secretary, William Hague, gave to the horror of sexual violence during conflict was revelatory.
It was in 2012 that she, a UN Special Envoy, and Mr Hague launched the Preventing Sexual Violence in Conflict Initiative. It has not ended the violence and has been underfunded, but it has made the world aware of what needs to be done.
It was at a London summit for the initiative in 2014 that I met her. Not only was she one of the most beautiful women I’ve met, she was serious, committed, intelligent and thoughtful. I don’t think she needs to worry she may have neglected her kids. It might have been easier if she’d just had a couple. Six kids and a bitter divorce from Brad Pitt must have made home life far harder to handle.
I suspect an awful lot of us have become so sick of looking at screens that we’ve gone back to reading real books. No surprise then that sales of books have reached more than 200 million, the highest figure since 2012. I’m reading a novel intended for young readers, but equally salutary for parents. In Bloom by Cordelia Feldman is part fiction, part autobiography. A group of nice middle-class, North London girls, all at private school, begin clubbing. They take what they refer to as ‘sweets’ and the central character, Tanya, becomes bipolar, clearly linked to the drugs. Her description of mental breakdown is graphic and deeply touching. If you have teens, keep an eye out.
Jenni admits she hated the TV programme Pooch Perfect, where dogs are treated as commodities and done up like high-end catwalk models
These pink dogs make me see red
I was not surprised to find that dogs are a woman’s, rather than a man’s, best friend. It was females in the earliest human settlements who domesticated the species. Of course we did. It has, I suspect, never been possible to have such unconditional love from another human being.
With dogs it’s a warm welcome, no arguments and lots of cuddles. But I have hated the TV programme Pooch Perfect, where dogs are treated as commodities and done up like high-end catwalk models. People often say of my three best friends: ‘Oh, so cute. Handbag dogs.’ No, they’re not! They’re dogs. They need to walk, just like the rest of us.
Am I happy to have the Pfizer jab? You bet!
Oh, the relief. A ping on my phone informing me I was invited, as a nearly 71-year-old asthmatic, to attend the designated health centre to receive my first Covid 19 vaccination. No hesitation. I booked for ten past 11 last Sunday.
There was a long walk to signs for the tents in the car park where the jabs would be performed. I knew some seven million were said to have been vaccinated already. I wondered if the next million were standing in my queue.
Forms to fill in as we approached the tents. ‘You will be receiving the Pfizer vaccine. Are you OK with that?’ ‘You bet,’ I replied. I’d done my research and dismissed all the myths. It won’t enter my DNA and alter my genome. It won’t connect me to the internet. It won’t cause an autoimmune disease and it won’t make me infertile. (It is, of course, a little late for me to worry about that!)
A quick injection followed. Roll on my second dose.
How I fear for those tunnel protesters
I’m not unsympathetic to the young people who have joined Swampy and his friends to protest against HS2 and would prefer the billions of pounds due to be spent on the high-speed railway to go instead to the NHS.
They’re worried about HS2’s impact as it cuts through the English countryside. But tunnels next to Euston station?
As I watched the film The Dig and saw the archaeologist Basil Brown, played by Ralph Fiennes, buried under a mountain of soil while digging the huge burial ground at Sutton Hoo, I couldn’t help thinking of the risks those young environmentally passionate people were taking. Protest by all means, but get out of those tunnels now!