Shane McGowan’s wife has heartbreakingly shared her feelings of guilt about ‘not doing enough’ for the Pogues frontman.
Victoria Mary Clarke has been caring for Shane, 63, after he was left bed-ridden when he fell and broke his knee.
The journalist, 55, who has been at Shane’s side for 34 years and supported him through his well-publicised drink and drug battles, took to Instagram to describe how she struggles with ‘not being able to heal him’.
Devoted: Shane McGowan’s wife has heartbreakingly shared her feelings of guilt about ‘not doing enough’ for the Pogues frontman
Sharing a throwback shot of the pair, Victoria, who has been married to Shane for three years, penned: ‘A lot of the time I feel guilty about not doing enough for Shane, not being superhuman, not having enough energy, not being able to heal him or even always be sweet and kind to him.
‘Sometimes his needs trigger resentment and anger in me and then I feel guilty about not being high vibrational and not being full of love and light and joy and positivity.’
Victoria went on to say she finds it hard to accept that she is trying her best.
Love: Victoria Mary Clarke has been caring for her husband Shane, 63, after he was left bed-ridden when he fell and broke his knee (pictured last month)
‘Acceptance’: The journalist, 55, who has been at Shane’s side for 34 years, took to Instagram to describe how she struggles with ‘not being able to heal him’
She continued: ‘I think that a lot of people can feel this way? Unable to find our own joy and radiance and energy because we are overwhelmed by the needs of the people we love.
‘The angels are inviting us now to get more compassionate with ourselves and more accepting of our feelings.
She added she hopes to ‘get back in touch with our own needs and find what lights us up,’ so that ‘we are not being eaten alive and drained by our relationships’.
Shane has been recovering at home following his nasty fall, and Victoria said last month his cast had come off and that the injury made him lose his appetite.
Bed bound: Shane has been recovering at home following his nasty fall, and Victoria said last month his cast had come off and that the injury made him lose his appetite. Pictured in 2014
She had previously told the Irish Mirror: ‘He was literally getting from the chair to the bed and he fell, so you know he’s usually pretty good humoured.
‘Some days are better than others. He doesn’t complain about being in pain but it can be hard.’
Shane has had to use wheelchair since he broke his pelvis in 2015.
Victoria added: ‘He tore a ligament and he was in a brace and just as the brace came off he fell and he broke the knee, so it’s been very tough.’
The journalist said her husband was ‘determined’ to get on the road again and record new music.
Shane’s hell-raising life and struggles have been well-documented over the years.
Addiction: Shane’s hell-raising life and struggles have been well-documented over the years
MacGowan has suffered physically from years of binge drinking and would often perform on stage drunk.
In 2015 he got his teeth fixed after losing his final one in 2009.
He began drinking at the tender age of five, when his family gave him Guinness to help him sleep, and his father frequently took him to the local pub while he drank with his friends.
Victoria announced in 2016 that Shane was sober for the ‘first time in several years’ and explained how his drinking problem stemmed from years of ‘singing in bars and clubs where people go to drink and have fun’.
The journalist said Shane’s spiral into alcohol addiction happened due to the introduction of hard drugs, such as heroin.
Back on his feet: Victoria announced in 2016 that Shane was sober for the ‘first time in several years’ and that drinking problem stemmed from years of ‘singing in bars’. Pictured in 2012
Victoria said the singer became sober after a length stay in hospital when he was suffering from pneumonia and a hip injury, and Shane continued his sobriety journey when he returned home.
The couple’s close friend Johnny Depp has produced the film Crock of Gold, which looks back the musician’s eventful life – from his childhood in Ireland with big dreams of pursuing a career in music, to moving to London when he was 13 before becoming a musical icon.
In the trailer for the new film, which came out in December, his younger sister Siobhan, a journalist and musician, said he was never the same after The Pogues’ first world tour.
She said: ‘He went away and he didn’t come back, not the Shane that I ever knew.’
She then went on to reveal doctors had told her that at one point, if he continued in the same way he was, Shane – who has described how heroin ‘messed him up’ – only had six months to live.
However, defiant Shane can be heard in a voiceover stating: ‘If I really wanted to die I’d be dead already.’
Good friends: The couple’s close friend Johnny Depp has produced the film Crock of Gold, which looks back the musician’s eventful life. Pictured, the pair together in 1994