A kind-hearted graduate who lived to help others took her own life after ‘losing her purpose’ during the Covid-19 pandemic, her heartbroken mother has said.
Jodi Walsham, 23, was left struggling with her mental health and ‘in a very bad place’ in January after having two job offers withdrawn in successive lockdowns.
The theatre student from Humshaugh, Northumberland, had suffered from anxiety since childhood, but according to mother Jayne, was at her best when she had structure and a goal.
Jodi’s mother said: ‘If she was helping people she had a purpose in life, and Covid took that away,’
Jodi Walsham, 23, was left struggling with her mental health and ‘in a very bad place’ in January after having two job offers withdrawn in successive lockdowns
‘If it wasn’t for Covid-19 I’m convinced she would still be with us – it just took everything away and she couldn’t see the end of it.
‘That’s the way her brain worked – she couldn’t see that far ahead.’
Born in Hexham and raised just over five miles away in the village of Humshaugh, Jodi attended Queen Elizabeth High School before going to the Liverpool Institute for Performing Arts (LIPA) in 2018 to study community drama and applied theatre.
The talented singer went travelling in Vietnam after graduating, before returning home to embark on the next phase of her life.
After returning from Vietnam, Jodi (pictured) was offered a mentoring job at a school. The role was due to start last September, but was withdrawn when the pandemic hit
Jayne said: ‘All Jodi ever really wanted to do was help people – that was her passion.
‘Her course at uni was all about bringing drama to the community, so it would have to have been something like that.’
After returning from Vietnam, Jodi was offered a mentoring job at a school. The role was due to start last September, but was withdrawn when the pandemic hit.
Jayne, 58, said: ‘That knocked her back massively. We live in a very sleepy village – it’s a lovely place to grow up but once you get to be a teenager, it’s a bit boring, and she didn’t want to live here.
‘Her anxiety got worse and mental health [services] started to intervene up to a point, but there were massive gaps in between.
Jodi’s mother said: ‘If she was helping people she had a purpose in life, and Covid took that away’. Pictured: Jodi
‘We started to find out what the problem was and they came to the conclusion it was either autism or ADHD.’
After months of being unable to settle, Jodi moved to Glasgow in December when she was offered a job.
But when the next lockdown was announced, that job was withdrawn as well.
‘Every time she got a step up, she got knocked back again. That’s what led to her doing what she did on January 15,’ Jayne said.
‘In the few weeks before it happened I knew she was really down because she stopped messaging me, I think because she knew I would know something was really wrong.
The talented singer went travelling in Vietnam after graduating, before returning home to embark on the next phase of her life
‘The day before, her friend phoned me to say she thought Jodi needed to come home for a few days.
‘In the background I could hear Jodi saying ‘no’, but I arranged with her friend that we would meet halfway in Carlisle.
‘I FaceTimed Jodi and said everything was going to be fine, that we would get her home, even if it was just for a few days.
‘She went so calm and said, ‘Okay mum, I’ll just put a few things in a bag’.
‘With hindsight, I think she decided in that moment, but that night was the first time in years that I slept, because when I spoke to her she was so convincing.
‘I thought, ‘We’ll get her home and get her help this time, we’ll push for it.’
Pictured: Jodi at her graduation, she attended the Liverpool Institute for Performing Arts (LIPA) in 2018 to study community drama and applied theatre
Before Jayne could get to Carlisle to pick up her daughter, she received a phone call at 6am from Jodi’s friend, saying she had taken her own life.
The devastated mother says an investigation is currently underway into whether Jodi got the mental health support she needed.
She said: ‘She had anxiety when she was quite young, but we didn’t know what it was at the time.
‘She really struggled to do things unless she had someone with her, even something like getting on a train.
‘When she went to uni it got worse but she loved the course – the stability is what got her through it.’
Jayne said the family struggled to get support from mental health services, with one doctor telling her a teenage Jodi ‘needed more discipline’.
She said: ‘When she was at uni I rang a private company to see if there was any help I could get, and they asked if she had a gambling addiction, because then she could get free, instant counselling.
‘When I said she had anxiety, they said there was a waiting list for that.’
Jodi was visited by a member of the crisis team last October after taking an overdose.
Jayne said: ‘She was so positive when he left. But the weeks went by and there was nothing more. By that time she was back down again. It’s the continuity of it that didn’t happen.
‘What annoys me is I’ve been offered counselling since she died – it was Jodi who needed help, not me.
‘There is still a massive stigma around mental health – a lot of people still don’t think it is real but it is.’
She added: ‘Covid was a massive part in this – she needed structure and a purpose in life – if she was helping people or had a job, she could cope.’
The family have now decided to release a song by Jodi to raise awareness for mental health and funds for two local charities – Core
Music in Hexham and Lawnmowers, a theatre company for people with learning difficulties.
Paying tribute to her daughter, Jayne said: ‘She made friends wherever she went, she was a people person.
‘When she worked at the Beatles cafe in Liverpool, she would sneak out the leftover food and give it to the homeless people on the docks.
‘Ever since she was little, she would never stick up for herself but she would stick up for people.
‘She had so much to give.’
An inquest date has yet to be set by Northumberland coroner’s service.
Anyone seeking help can call Samaritans free on 116 123 or visit Samaritans.org