BBC podcast presenter Deborah James has revealed that her cancer is back again and told how she still worries that she won’t ‘wake up’ as she returned to hospital today for her 12th operation.
The mother-of-two, 39, who’s also known as Bowel Babe, has been living with stage four bowel cancer since she was diagnosed in December 2015.
London-based Deborah, who has recently launched ITV’s Lorraine’s ‘No Butts’ campaign, designed to get people talking about the illness’s main symptoms, told how she recently asked her oncologist whether this was the ‘beginning of the end’ following her most recent results.
Writing in Fabulous, Deborah, who presents the Radio 5 Live podcast ‘You, me and the Big C’, explained: ‘The results aren’t a sh*t show. The good news is my liver, lungs, bowel and chest are all clear.
But my cancer has a habit of being awkward and it’s thrown me another challenge, a roadblock we need to navigate around.’
Campaigner, broadcaster and author Deborah James, 38, said protecting cancer care should be a priority (pictured upon leaving hospital after going through an operation to treat her stage four metastatic bowel cancer)
Deborah said being diagnosed late made her chances of surviving cancer lower, and said she didn’t think she would make it to see her children aged 13 and 11 turn 18 (pictured in hospital in 2020)
Deborah went on to explain how they track her bloods every week and her tumour markers were raised a little, leading her gut to believe that the results weren’t going to be completely positive.
She went on to explain that three years ago she underwent a procedure known as CyberKnife – a highly targeted form of radiotherapy which targeted an inoperable lymph node close to her liver.
The surgery was a success and the cancer became inactive. But while Deborah continued undergoing daily targeted drug therapy to keep the cancer at bay, she told how just as lockdown restrictions in the UK started easing, her cancer ‘wanted in on the party’ and started waking up.
Deborah, who says that as a stage 4 cancer patient all she wants is ‘hope and options,’ added that the node is inoperable and that her body is unable to cope with any more radiotherapy in that area.
The mother-of-two talks about her cancer on Instagram under her moniker Bowel Babe, and shares glimpses of her treatment (pictured during a treatment session in hospital)
However, with an oncologist confirming Deborah’s cancer is spreading to ‘limited sites’ in a ‘specific way,’ local therapies – including a mix of CyberKnife and ablation – have so far had positive outcomes.
So this time, Deborah is undergoing a new type of ablation known as NanoKnife – an ablation procedure that uses low energy electrical pulses to create defects in cell membranes, resulting in loss of homeostasis and subsequent cell death.
‘I still get scared, I still overthink every possible scenario,’ she explained. ‘I still hate general anaesthetics and I worry every single time that I won’t wake up.’
‘I worry I might wake up too soon, I worry it will all go wrong. I worry I will freak out in the middle of the night, and I get nervous that I’ll have to sleep alone. ‘What if I die mid-operation?’
Deborah went on to say how before heading into the hospital, she makes sure everything is ‘in order at home’ – including reminding son Hugo of her password ‘just in case.’
She also added how she hugs him, Eloise and husband Seb ‘a little bit tighter.’
She continued: ‘I know that I have to take risks if I want to live, it’s a strategy that has got me this far and I’m not giving up now.’
It comes just a week after Deborah poignantly revealed on Lorraine that ‘all she wants is a future’, as she launched a new campaign to mark Bowel Cancer Awareness month.
Speaking candidly about her future she said she’s had to accept she probably won’t see her children, aged 11 and 13, turn 18.
‘I was diagnosed art the age of 35, with stage four bowel cancer,’ she explained. ‘It was the last thing I thought would ever happen. It was caught very late and unfortunately, the chances of survival plummets.
‘It’s really hard when I look at my kids. I have a 13-year-old and an 11-year-old and I wonder if I’ll ever see them getting to 18 and I probably won’t
‘All I want is to have a future and dream about a future. I want to make it to my 40th birthday later in the year, I want to have a huge party.
She added: ‘I want to be a 40-year-old, not Deborah with cancer, I want to be Deborah.
‘Living with cancer mentally is a roller coaster, physically is very challenging. Covid has a level of complexity and worry.
‘The hardest thing was when I’ve been in hospital over the last year. I’ve had to have radiotherapy, treatment every week, but I’ve done it all alone.
‘When bowel cancer is caught earlier, it is survivable, but we need people to talk about it.
‘We need people to talk about it, we need people not to feel embarrassed, because ultimately, that’s how we save lives.